Analysis of Student Work
The first image shown here is K.C.'s notes and summary of an article about child labor from the Internet. He read the article ("Chocolate-Coated Slavery," and was to prepare a five-sentence summary of what he learned from the article. The handwriting is a problem. He misspelled "chocolate" and "cocoa," though he had the words in front of him in the article. Most of the "sentences" are missing capitalization and punctuation.
(The mistakes he made are common among seventh graders, especially in an early draft.)
The second image is a poster that K.C. designed as part of a reading class campaign to teach people about the problem of child labor. This is just the design and not the finished product. He correctly used an apostrophe, and all of the words are spelled correctly, unless the second letter in "camp" is an "o."
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Response to “Cherished Memory” prompt on GoMYAccess
Draft #3
In the evening of a morning after noon. When the dew on the grass was still frozen. With a glare of the suns reflecting radiance .The cold cherry shaped water droplet was starting to drip of the rose peddle. Still when the butterfly's morn. The sun rising of the horizon . With nothing but the sound of the grass growing in the far out distance the birds singing The simple dancing patterns in the sky.
I remember me waking up and finding my self smelling the strong odor of pine. When me and my family where camping. It was fun. My family and I went to the lake. Our friend was on his bout and he gave us a ride and was fun to feel the wind. The water splashing in the side of the bout. for a brief moment I felt peace . But everything has to come to a end. Two days before the trip was to a end. We were taking a hike and we so the real true meaning of nature.
When we had to go was fun vacation so sad we had to leave. The last thing we did was go fishing. We ate fish for lunch.We cooked it with lime and salt.You could her the it sizzling. I was full and tired I wanted to finally come home.
On the road riding looking back at the sunset. And the glare of the lake mad a heavenly sight. With six hours to go. I decided to close my eyes. And just remember the fun we had that summer.
Analysis of Response to “Cherished Memory” prompt on GoMYAccess:
Word Level
Spelling: Uses "of" instead of "off," "my self" instead of "myself," and "mad" instead of "made." Also "where" instead of "were," "bout" instead of "boat," and uses "so" for "saw."
Possessives: "With a glare of the suns reflecting radiance." (sun's)
Prepositions: "The water splashing in the side of the bout."
Sentence level errors:
He capitalized "The" in the middle of a sentence, and "for" at the beginning of a sentence was not capitalized.
Extra word: "before the trip was to a end.. . ."
Missing word 3 times: ". . . he gave us a ride and [missing word] was fun to feel the wind. "
"you could hear the it sizzling"
Discourse level errors:
Fragments: 13, Run-ons: 2
Other: "Still when the butterfly's morn" "In the evening of a morning after noon."
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Conclusions:
Student Level: Advanced
What implications can be drawn? K.C. has well-developed skills in conversational English; however, he has a lot of weaknesses in writing. I encourage him to slow down as he is doing handwritten work.
What Language development support is needed? K.C. needs help distinguishing sentence boundaries. He needs to practice common phrases used with prepositions, and learn, along with his native-English-speaking classmates, to avoid common misspellings. He needs to read more and write more.
Response to “Family and Friendship” prompt on GoMYAccess:
What I think is a good time is with my family and frends. One time I spent was when my family and I .Went to los Angeles.we went to santa monica and went and the fairis wheel. To feel and see was a sight to be rememberd. When I went on the sandy beach and feeling the sand in my feet was fun. Exept when a jellyfish stung me in my ankle it hurt and to stop the swelling and iretion was urin but luckly they had an other antidont.
To be with friends is a differnt feeling. But I spent most time with them more than my house is in school. Good times there and some of my best storyies. One time I remember is when in the six grade at the next to last day when we through a party. I spent that whole day with my friends. To me it was specle and I hope never to forget.
Talking alot about friends at school know to talk about frends in my home. Usully I say we dont do allot thats what I think? Last time friends came over my friend and I tryed to tack down a tree by chain saw and fire,also we did the bigist fire in my house. Good thing no won got hurt. but that tree is still standing.
Analysis of Response to “Family and Friendship” prompt on GoMYAccess:
Word Level:
Spelling: "frends" for "friends," "fairis" for Ferris," "iretion" for "irritation," Exept" for "except," "urin" for "urine."
allot -- alot -- a lot
usully -- usually
dont -- don't (contractions)
tryed -- tried
tack -- take
bigist-- biggest
luckly -- luckily
an other -- another
antidont -- antidote
differnt -- different
storyies -- stories
six grade -- sixth grade
through -- threw
specle -- special
no won -- no one
Capitalization: los Angeles, santa monica
Prepositions: "I went on the sandy beach.. . " "sand in my feet" "stung me in my ankle"
Sentence Level:
Beginning of sentence not capitalized
Used a question mark after a statement
Discourse Level:
Fragments: 2
"But I spent more time with them than my house is in school."
"To feel and see was a sight to be remembered."
Instead of telling one story, as directed in the prompt, he told (briefly) about several incidents.
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Conclusions:
Student Level: Advanced
What implications can be drawn? Again, he has fluency of thought, but needs work on recognizing sentence boundaries in writing. His weaknesses in spelling can be addressed by learning some rules, and by continuing to provide spelling practice on the READ180 software.
What Language development support is needed? See implications. As K.C. receives praise for the thoughts he is attempting to express in writing, he will be motivated to write more.
I'm working with him on adding inflectional endings such as -er and -est. We're also working on double consonants.
Level of Proficiency
Report:
Linguistic Strengths in BICS/CALP: K.C. has heard a lot of English, and is quite fluent in his speech. He thinks about and examines language, looking for new ways of saying things, including new and more precise vocabulary.
He is consciously aware that he needs to adjust his choice of words and other aspects of his language to various situations. His pronunciation and grammar are definitely moving toward those of a native speaker.
His proficiency level in BICS is ADVANCED.
His proficiency level in CALP is perhaps between INTERMEDIATE and ADVANCED. Simplified texts for content are helpful to him. He can read and hear various forms of discourse such as persuasion and comparison/contrast more proficiently than he can write them.
Linguistic Weaknesses in BICS/CALP:
Implications for Success in the Classroom
Encourage further vocabulary development through wide reading and through word study.
Proposed Teacher Work
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